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| At times I find myself standing, watching for the dawn to come and after the sun has risen I go on my way. A certain amount of passion mixes with restlessness and it drives me further into life. It might be said that the road I choose is a maze without walls, there are definite ways in which I can go but the paths are never clearly defined nor are the dead ends….. When and where am I to find the finish? Which path leads home? As for those answer I am at a loss. Weather the journey is a mindset or an emotion or something else entirely I am prone to wander. In my head is the ocean and in my heart is the pale blue sky. I ride on waves of nostalgia and crash on the shores of emotion. Where is a soul to go when he should live beneath the stars. It was once said that “everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” The statement still holds true. I find that there is this incessant determination to cause this life to take on meaning, even if there is no meaning at all. There are times when meaninglessness provides a certain peace just because it is a conclusion, a very stark conclusion, but an answer in itself will provide one with a sense of comfort. Therefore meaninglessness to some will feel a very great deal better than uncertainty. If this train of thought continued one might come to realize that there is a great flaw in finding satisfaction with a conclusion so strictly based on the thought of avoiding something else. On the other side there are those who take their chance with uncertainty and avoid any conclusion at all. Each will explore to justify their cause but do all paths taken lead to the same place? The direction taken on these paths is based on where each step falls just as each step forward is based on where the previous step was planted. So where does it end…… Does it end today when the sun has set? I do not know and again I find myself standing here watching for the sun to rise. | | |
| the one who had lost his focus
restless in all he undertook
lost himself in his minds ruckus
turning to the mystic book
made the one into four
to pursue his passions
one to rise above the poor
one to become a musician
one to undertake art
one to find his love
and so he split his heart
not knowing that the above
would end a tragic irony
one could not make his wealth
having given away his creativity
and soon the artist lost his health
forbearing all rational reason
one lost his imagination
and so too fell the musician
having nothing but his passion
the lover failed his ambition
for he was not whole
each left to their misery
all played their role
but failed to see clearly
that the end was before the beginning
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| There is a street lamp on the corner and it pulses with deluded notions that it is bright enough to illuminate the night. As I round aforesaid corner I pass through a shadow and as I do I glance up only to notice that the stars have now peered through the clouds just to grace me with their appearance. Struck with a very typical awe of stars I pause in that shadow to admire the pin holes in the sky. The longer I held my place the more the stars multiplied due to the simple science of my eyes adjusting to the dark. After about 10 min of my captivation I broke my gaze and decided to be on my way. Upon stepping out of the shadows I was immediately greeted by the confused street lamp still pathetically attempting to shed light on a few dim subjects. It was about that time that an idea struck me. I've just physically reenacted the spiritual story of my life. There are many times that I get caught up starring at this worldly light that is a dim comparison to the light of the world.. It is only when I walk though the dark that Gods light becomes apparent. It starts off as a few small distant pin holes but the longer we stare at Him the more numerous his light becomes, the more of God we see. Not that we can really perceive that light for just like the stars we see them and yet they are so far away that they still hold their secrets and mysteries. Another correlation is the time,10 min to stare at the stars 10 min to stare at God and for some moronic reason thats all we need before we walk away. | | |
| There is a lot I just don't understand.
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